My friend, Eugene recently posted a blog about what it means to be a "real man." In the beginning of the post he asks some very amusing questions that he has asked as a man. I have been mulling around the idea of doing something similar for a couple of weeks because it amused me so much. I just decided to ask questions I have,not questions anyone else might have. I think I have one for every year of my life. No counting please!
What the hell is she looking at? How much am I fucking up my children? Why did God trust me with them anyway? Have I become uninteresting because I choose to stay home with my children? What the hell is he looking at? what if we are actually living in the Matrix? Will I ever meet Paul Hewson? (I would actually prefer a hug from him) Will I still be enthralled with King David when I actually meet him? Why do I have such awesome friends? Why does God give me so many wants when there are so many people with real needs? How long will I have to live without my Tim? Why doesn't God ever give up on me? What the hell was U2 thinking when they released "Pop?" Why do weeds grow faster than plants that are given lots of TLC? Why did I get totally screwed in the parent department? Why does Louie D "believe in me?" Why does Doc Sandy live 6,000 miles away? Should I even consider spending my husbands hard earned money on vanities like getting rid of all the sun damage on my face and chest or the spider veins on my legs? Why has it become so difficult for me to finish a book? Why can't my husband meed ALL my needs? Why can't I get a kitten? What did I do with all my time before the invention of the Internet?(a special shout out to Al Gore) Why are little girls so afraid of bugs? Is is really possible to be healed of all of my wounds? When will I go to Germany again? Why do people tell birthing horror stories to pregnant women? Will I ever visit Africa? What will my children be like when they grow up? How did my brother grow up to be such a fine man? Why haven't i learned to speak a different language yet? Why don't i mind being called "grandma" anymore? How old will I be when I die? Why do I relate so well with Chelsea Handler? Does Tim still think I'm joking when I tell him we are retiring on the Costa Brava, Spain? why is it so difficult for me to confront painting the inside of my home? Why does life have to be bittersweet?
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