Sunday, January 11, 2009

In The End

I buried my father this week. He died on 1/1/09 from a heart attack. My week was filled will running here and there going to appointments and making phone calls. Making sure everything came together for a proper memorial.

My week was also peppered with different people sharing their thoughts and memories of my dad. I will never forget watching my brother's face light up when the Pastor asked us to share some memories of my father. My brother smiled and told many stories. I sat mostly in silence. My brother spent his spare time preparing some thoughts he wanted to share at the funeral. I had nothing to share.

After my brother shared what he had prepared, the pastor asked if anyone else would like to share anything. Many did. His best friend from childhood flew all the way from Texas to be there. I had cousins come in from Arizona and So Cal. There were many people present. There were many cards and flowers sent. Loads of food delivered to my mother's home.

This was all very good for me to witness. I have been so focused on all the mistakes my dad has made and all the shitty things he has done to his family that I had forgotten that there was any good at all in my dad. But there was. I'm glad he is at rest. My heart grieves more for my mother and my brother than for any myself. I don't feel like I lost much. He didn't have much to give me. I am glad to know that there were some things about his life to be proud of though.


digapigmy said...

i'm glad that the memorial helped you remember the presence of good things along with the bad.

Trista said...

Sorry to hear about your dad Sue. No matter what the life was, death usually has a lot to it.
Hope the best for you in the coming weeks.

Jason said...

i feel ya.

Joni said...

I really have missed you during this process but I'm glad you were able to be with your mom. I'm also glad you got to hear some "good" about your dad.

Only by God's grace and strength that you've made it through these last few weeks...and for that I'm so happy for you... experiencing God with you...every moment.